and i’d like to start writing more often.
over the past few months i’ve been plagued by a series of intense and often unpleasant dreams.
these dreams often wake me and leave me wide awake, my mind racing, through the early morning hours. sometimes, i can go back to sleep, but more frequently, i’m left awake and unsettled, waiting for the eerie twilight hours to pass. the world seems a bit less friendly, a little less familiar, when everyone is sleeping.
lately i’ve been spending a lot of time getting acquainted with these hours.
sometimes, when my dream is particularly menacing, i wake up myself (and allen) from yelling out. it’s unlike me. in the morning i wake up feeling like i’ve experienced a number intense situations through the night. it’s exhausting.
last night’s dream really shook me. i woke myself up calling out for help. it was just a whisper though, so allen didn’t wake up, even though i was trying really hard to yell. in my dream, it was the early evening and i was walking to down cleveland street on my way to central station. i realised it was darker than usual and i was uneasy. i noticed a man approaching from the other direction, walking on the sidewalk toward me. as he got closer, he looked me in the eye and gestured ‘you and me’ before walking past me. his intimidating glare frightened me, and so i sought refuge in a taxi that i saw hovering next to the footpath. as i approached, i realised the taxi driver and man were working together. the taxi driver sped away, leaving me vulnerable on the street. i was surrounded by an overwhelming darkness. i searched frantically for some light, or anyone who could help me, but everything was dark. as the man approached me i called out for help but my voice wasn’t working. i woke myself up rasping the words ‘help’.